How to Hook an Agent with your Query Package
Our associate agent Rhian Parry generously shares her top tips - and even the query letter! - that secured her own literary agent
The leaves are turning, nights are drawing in, spooky season is nigh… and publishing is waking up for autumn! Summer is famously a ‘quiet period’ in publishing (although personally, I’m yet to experience much of a respite) and so when autumn comes around, it often feels like there’s a buzz in the air. Who knows what deals are on the horizon? What will the book of the fair be at Frankfurt? What weird and wonderful things will land in my submissions inbox?
As always, we’ve got a couple of specials coming up on The Not-So-Secret Agents Substack, but autumn is going to mainly be exploring how to get a literary agent. To kick off the season, I’m going to talk all about how to stand out while querying! Before you dive in, if you haven’t already, I’d recommend checking out our newsletters from May where we talked about what an agent does (and should be doing for you); how to put together a list of great and suitable agents to submit to; and what you should do to prevent your submission from being an immediate ‘no’.
A watertight query package
A mantra many writers live by while querying is my writing will speak for itself. While true to an extent—and I say this with love—relying on your writing alone in a fiercely competitive market might not cut it. As frustrating as it can sometimes feel, publishing is ultimately a business; you might be the next Shakespeare, but if you can’t pitch your work in a way that’s appealing to literary agents, you run the risk of struggling for our attention among the sea of queries we receive every day.
This is where the query package comes in.
Although it can vary depending on the agency (always check the submission guidelines for every agency you submit to), a fiction query package typically contains a query letter, synopsis, and writing sample. The latter two are fairly self-explanatory; a writing sample will be the first X words/pages of your book as specified by an agency’s submission guidelines, and a synopsis is a play-by-play of your book’s plot with full spoilers. Although less self-explanatory, and therefore daunts a lot of authors, a query letter can follow a very clear formula. Approximately 350 words, it typically begins with an intro and stats/metadata, a pitch (like you’d find on the back of a published book), and an author bio.
When it comes to standing out, your pitch is key. It’s an opportunity to flex your skills before an agent even gets to your writing sample, and you want to hit five key points: who is your protagonist(s), what is their goal, what’s stopping them from achieving this goal, what will happen if they don’t achieve it, and what are they willing to do to get it? As for the intro, you want to state how many words your book is, comp titles (books yours could be compared to, ideally published within the last three years), and clarify whether your book works as a standalone or is part of a series. Then, finally, your author bio! Don’t have any writing awards or credentials? No problem! Talk a little about yourself and what inspired you to write the book. You certainly don’t need to say I have not won any awards for my writing, something I see more often than you’d think.
Below is the query letter I used when I was recently querying literary agents myself. It’s not perfect, but is hopefully a helpful guide that brings the above to life!
Dear AGENT,
I’m excited to introduce A MORTAL DROWNING, a standalone fantasy romance that has garnered big 5 and indie editor interest. With gothic undertones and a flourish of dark academia, the novel is complete at 104,000 words. It has the atmospheric prose and mystery of Ava Reid’s A Study in Drowning, the love that defies all else of Rebecca Ross’s Divine Rivals, and the whimsy wit, and banter of Heather Fawcett’s Emily Wilde series.
Gwaleg, the language magic relies on to exist, is dying.
With its decline comes the unravelling of an enchantment cast to keep the goddess, Olwen, hidden from an ex-lover sworn on murderous revenge. Only the magic at Menai University is capable of restoring this enchantment, but only Menai’s brightest are granted access to it. Olwen’s life, therefore, is contingent on her graduating as her department’s top student.
If not for Arthur Scott, the perpetual mortal thorn in her side, the prize would be hers. Arthur has his own demons–and his own reasons–to win Menai’s magic. As the sole survivor in a recent string of men found drowned with magic in their lungs, an event that stripped him of his memory, he needs the prize to recover his identity and unravel what the stirring deity behind these drownings is seeking.
As the eroding of Olwen’s enchantment accelerates and more men wash up dead, her and Arthur’s academic rivalry intensifies alongside an unlikely romance. When the two students join forces to make sense of the chaos, each new discovery leads to one damning conclusion: uncovering Arthur’s missing past might kill them before any crumbling enchantment or vengeful deity can.
I’m a Welsh writer living in London, and AMD draws inspiration from Welsh folklore and the language’s turbulent history. It uses altered mythology as an allegory for stifling oppressed voices and explores how the alienation of autistic people (#ownvoices) perpetuates their inherent feelings of wrongness. I’ve previously published stories on Wattpad, and have amassed over 1 million reads there.
Kind regards,
Rhian
In non-fiction, your query package is just as important in standing out. What to include is a little different i.e. instead of a synopsis, you’ll want to share a proposal alongside your writing sample. The query letter format, however, will be pretty much the same (you’ll just need to pivot your pitch towards your topic/subject matter, why it’s important that the book exists, the readership you’re writing for, and why you’re the ideal author for it). Jericho Writers has a great guide on what a proposal looks like, and how to write one.
A killer hook
Another effective way to stand out to literary agents is by communicating your hook in a clear, concise way. What makes your book irresistible? What makes it stand out among a sea of other options? What will entice readers to keep reading? Making this clear in your query letter, ideally through a one or two-line pitch, can be especially effective. You might have heard this referred to as an elevator pitch: a short pitch that sells your book in few words. While querying A MORTAL DROWNING, for example, I often used the following:
A mortal man with no memory of his past and a goddess the earth has no memory of compete for their university’s magic in a world where magic, and the language that sustains it, is dying - and whichever student loses will have their own extinction to worry about.
Pinning down your hook can take some time, and it may not always be easy to identify. Think about what’s most key to your story and what makes it interesting, then build your hook around that (in A MORTAL DROWNING, for example, it’s the characters and magic system, which led to the above pitch). Jericho Writers has a great article about identifying and writing hooks here!
A polished (and polished again) writing sample
Now, onto the writing! I’m sure it goes without saying that in order to stand out to literary agents, you need a strong writing sample. A killer first page. Wonderfully flowing sentences. An intriguing introduction to your plot in fiction, or your subject matter in non-fiction. All of this is true, but none of this is something you can nail in just one draft (unless you’re a wizard). Self-editing is the key first step – read over your work, then read it again. Then edit. Then read again. Then edit again. Repeat this process until you can no longer spot any structural or grammatical issues (or until you go a bit cross-eyed).
Once you’ve self-edited, share your writing with others. In an ideal world, this would be beta readers who’ve agreed to read with a critical eye and provide feedback, but family and/or friends can work too. Even just having one other person look over your pages can be a game changer – they might spot something that hadn’t even been on your radar!
Editing until you can edit no more will ensure that your pages live up to the promise of your query letter, and sustaining this high quality is a brilliant way of standing out among an agent’s submissions. I’d also recommend going through a similar process with the query package i.e. edit your query letter and synopsis/proposal multiple times, and ideally with feedback from at least one other person.
It’s worth noting that this doesn’t just apply to your writing sample – you need to ensure the whole manuscript is equally as polished. Otherwise, when an agent asks for more, you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot!
We’ll be going into more detail on this and other aspects I’ve mentioned above over the following months, so make sure you’re subscribed if you’d like more guidance.
Bonus advice!
Although an agent might pass on your submission for a plethora of reasons, there are some common mistakes I’ve noticed authors make – often small things that can result in an otherwise strong submission becoming a pass.
Word count – always check the word count expectations for your genre e.g. if you’re querying fantasy, a 100k+ word manuscript might be okay, but that high of a word count if you’re querying a gift book idea? You’re at risk of an instant pass
Be clear and explicit in your pitch. Many pitches talk in vague terms e.g. I represent fantasy, and so I see a lot of ‘evil forces that could ruin the world’ type of language but no specification of what those evil forces are or how they’ll ruin the world – this results in queries blending together when standing out is so important. Highlight what makes your book different, and be specific!
On a similar note, fiction query synopses should include spoilers!! I’ve found myself in situations where an author’s sample pages show promise but I’m not 100% sure and need some insight into how things transpire, only to find the synopsis is a vague pitch. This doesn’t lead to an instant pass for me—if I love the pages enough, I’ll ask for a full manuscript regardless of a vague synopsis—but it can be the difference between an instant full manuscript request or something being placed in my maybe pile
Don’t jump the gun – writing a book is exciting (and impressive!) and so it can be very tempting to start querying agents as soon as you’ve got your full manuscript written. However, while a submission doesn’t have to be perfect, it does need to be polished. It’s quite clear when someone’s querying a first draft, a version that has holes, needs fleshing out etc, and it’s such a shame to lose out on an agent who, if you’d spent time editing instead of rushing to query asap, might’ve been a great match!
Enjoyed this Substack? Please do share on social media and with any friends you think would find it useful. And If you’re a reader, keep your eyes peeled for A MORTAL DROWNING in your local bookshop (hopefully!) in the next few years. If you’re an editor and you like the sound of the novel, my agent is Lauren Gardner - feel free to reach out to her!
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